A Red Bird...

I’m the person in our family that has her camera out 24/7 to capture pics & videos but of course today it was inside.  Let me explain my morning….

Right before I’m about to head out of the house this morning I hear my mom screaming for me to come outside.  Here is how our dialogue went.

Mom: “Look at this bird.  I've never seen a bird with colors like this.  Have you?” (she points to a bird hanging upside down on our wind chime that has been turned into a nest)

Me: *wipes eyes and tries to take a closer look* “Um no I've never seen one like that before. Is it alive?”

Mom: “I think so.  It’s not moving though.  I keep getting close to it and it just sits there.”

Me: “Well when you get close is it looking at you or moving its head.”

Mom: “It doesn't have eyes so it can’t see me.”

YES she really just said that.  Apparently birds hang up side down all the time and don't move as you get close to them.  And apparently some do not have eyes.  Well at least in my mom’s mind that is. Lol

Me: “Um then its dead mom.  And that isn't red feathers that's blood.  Looks like something ate its eyes.”

She shrieks!  What are we going to do?

Me: “You need to get it down.”

Mom: “I’m not getting it down.  You do it.”

Me: “No way, you own the house and you found out.  Finders keepers.”

She goes in the house and gets a broom to begin to hit it off the wind chime.

Me: “Eeewwww no!  Don’t use a broom that you use to sweep our floors.  That’s disgusting.  You better throw it away when you’re done.  I don’t want you contaminating the house.”

Mom:  “It will be fine.”

Me:  “Hello…have you not heard of the bird flu?”  (Okay maybe I was being a bit dramatic but still…eeeewww)

Mom:  “Well what the hell am I supposed to do?” 

Me: “Get on the chair and reach up and remove the wind chime.  Then we can get it out or you can throw the whole thing away.”

As she begins to climb up on the chair and I see her shaking in fear the bitch in me couldn’t help but take advantage of this moment.  So I decided to sneak behind her and grab her waist while shouting really loud “Ahhhh”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! She screams and jumps off the chair.  Then begins to run around the porch and yard screaming and throwing her hands up in the air.  Funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  What was not so funny was her running back to me threatening to beat me with her broom.  After she finally calms down and tells me how much she hates me she goes back up to remove it.  I again remind her that the best way to remove it would just be to take the whole thing down.  Against my advice she decides to try to pull it off the wind chime. 

Me: “It’s not going to come off because its stuck.  Just take the whole thing down and throw it away.”

Mom:  “There might be eggs in there.  I have to save the nest.”

Me:  “Who cares.  Just throw it away.  Circle of life.”

Mom: “Tiffany!”

I sit back watching her attempt to remove the bird knowing the whole time what is going to happen next. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” 

Me: “Why are you screaming now?” 

Mom: “The wing is starting to rip off.  Ewww I can’t do this.  This is why I need a man.  Where is Scott?”

She jumps down and beings screaming and running all over the yard again.  Finally realizing I’m not going to help her no matter how much she whines she decides to take my original advice and pulls the entire wind chime down.  Once its down she was able to remove the bird and put the wind chime back up.  She saved the eggs & was able to dispose of the bird.  Couldn't be prouder of her for finally doing something without the need of a man.  Slowly but surely I’m going to help her see that women are just as strong as men.  =)