Laughing right now as I listen to my playlist titled
CB. I start at What Kind of Man by
Florence + the Machine, then switched to All of Me by John Legend. Now I hear I’m Not the Only One by Sam Smith. Hmm.. as I’m listening I can’t help but notice the
resemblance to our “relationship”. I put
that in quotes because I’m not sure exactly what you can call what we have done
for the last year. We go from happy to mad,
sad to glad, then to confused to finally being honest about our feelings and
then just when everything seems to be aligning right some curve ball is thrown
our way and one of us ends up angry with the other person again. It’s been a total roller coaster. He’s done things to hurt me and I've definitely
hurt him as well. Still we always found our
way back to one another because while it hurt to deal with each other I think
it hurt more not to. I kept trying
though. Just waiting for the day we
would be on the same page at the same time. Unfortunately that day hasn't come. It’s been a constant game of cat & mouse. Both of us taking
turns doing the chasing. Well the game
is finally over. I could go more in depth about our issues but
that’s not the point of this post. The
point is that while it may not have always been roses I gained so much from
knowing him. I’m happy that I can walk
away and see the positive in it all. When we first met I thought there is no way a
guy like him would ever like a woman like me.
He definitely is easy on the eyes.
I had zero confidence and immediately started trying to sabotage the
entire situation. I told him the first
night we hung out that I couldn't date him and only wanted to see him every now
and then (once every other month to be exact).
Did I mean this? Absolutely not
but I was so worried that he wasn't into me that I figured I’d set the
boundaries before he did. Stupid, I know. I was just so scared of getting hurt. He still continued to pursue me and with that
came texts every morning calling me beautiful.
At first I thought it was cheesy & wondered how many other women he
had said that to but after awhile I became accustomed to it. With time I started to actually believe
him. Sure I may struggle with body
issues and I’m not nearly as close to my goal weight as I’d like to be but
overall I do think I’m beautiful. Inside
and out. It took hearing it over and
over again to convince myself but I finally stopped responding with “Whatever.”
and started saying “Thank you”. I've
always had a hard time accepting a compliment but with him it became easy. He told me all the time that I was a really
good woman and would point out all my qualities that he liked and boy did it
help boost my self esteem. Being a
single mom I feel like I’m constantly under a microscope so to hear someone
telling me I’m doing a good job felt amazing.
When I would vent about things I was going through with Makenna’s father
he would quickly offer to “kick his ass” and while I’d laugh it off part of me
enjoyed his concern. He wasn't serious
of course but it felt kind of good to feel that protection of a man. I’m very independent and I know I’m strong
enough to handle just about anything but even someone like myself likes the
safety of having a strong man by her side.
He gave me much more than I think he’ll ever realize. It may have been a rough ride but overall I’m
walking away from this happy to have experienced it. I’m going to miss him. I loved that man & I’m not afraid to
admit it. In the back of my head I will always
wonder what might have been had we ever been able to let our guard down with
one another and truly enjoy what was going on.
I know its for the best though. Time
to take what I learned and move on to the next chapter.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Monday, April 20, 2015
Grand Cayman
Our second stop was in Grand Cayman. We ended up doing a snorkel/stingray excursion
directly through the trip. While I loved
it, part of me wishes we would have looked into a private tour and hopefully had more time when we got back
to explore the island a bit before boarding again. There was a lot of confusion with our drivers
to and from the marina where our tour began.
Snorkeling was fun but I didn’t see very many fish while there. Not sure if it was the location, time of day
or what but there wasn’t much to see in the water. The reef however was beautiful. I didn’t have a camera but luckily my brother
brought his GoPro so we have pics/videos from him. I will update with those soon. Stingray City was next and better than I
expected. I probably could have just
stayed there for hours. The stingrays
were so sweet. I was able to hold, feed,
and even kiss them. Talk about an
amazing experience.
Jamaica
Our first stop was in Jamaica. Thank goodness because we decided to visit
Dunn Falls and honestly I do not think I could have made it through had I
already spent two days snorkeling in the other locations. Yes, Dunn Falls kicked my ASS! In all honestly its not so much that its hard
to climb there were just so many holes. If you can manage to dodge them you’ll be
fine. The water is not clear so I could
not see and I fell more times than I can count.
Twisting my ankle, landing on rocks, cutting up my legs, yeah not the
best experience. Still…I’m glad I did
it. I do recommend going if you visit
Jamaica but make sure you are in good enough shape to where you actually can
enjoy it. Had I not had my brother there
to help pull me up some of the times I would have had a lot more trouble than I
did. So I’d say that was my least
favorite spot while there. We ended up
booking an excursion through a private tour company which was a great experience. Her name was Patrice Bailey and her number
is 1876-509-7542. She can also be reached via email at patbailey52@yahoo.com. She was very professional and made sure we
were back at the ship with plenty of time.
Our tour guide was Anna. Make
sure if you book a tour through Patrice to ask for Anna. She was so sweet and had us laughing the
entire time. I will say that most of
Jamaica was not as pretty as I expected but Anna had the driver take us to
areas with great views for pictures. We
finished with lunch at Scotches and then a quick rum tasting after that. Scotches was the best food I think I’ve ever
had. I fell in love with the jerk
chicken and Jamaican cornbread. Definitely
a place you need to try while there.
While Jamaica may not have been the prettiest place we stopped I fell in
love with the people. They were all so
welcoming and made you feel like you were part of their family. So did I truly
enjoy this destination? “Yeah Mon” – as
they say in Jamaica
Cruise 2015
Here is a little info on the 7 night Royal Caribbean cruise
we took April 12th through the 19th aboard the Navigator of the
Seas. We left out of Galveston, Texas
and stopped in Jamaica, Grand Cayman, & Cozumel before returning back to
Galveston. This was my first trip and I
was beyond worried about motion sickness but it ended up being a wonderful
experience. 7 nights might have been a
little too long for me though. Next time
I’d like to only be on the ship for 5 nights or less. Regardless I had a fabulous time. I had my doctor prescribe me anti nausea
patches which worked wonderfully. I only
had one night that I felt sick and that was after a very long day of snorkeling
etc so that may have also been a factor.
It still was nowhere near how I would have felt had I not had the
patch. I definitely recommend anyone who
goes on a cruise to get patches. Biggest surprise on the cruise? Well I’d have to say it was the on board entertainment. All of my friends told me before leaving how
much I’d enjoy all the shows & entertainment
….they were right! From the ice show to
a chance to see REVoiced perform, a hilarious Sexiest Man contest (by the
pool), a few comedy shows and then the most interesting adult scavenger hunt I’ve
ever been a part of….I had an absolute blast!
Not to mention all of the stuff on the cruise were incredibly sweet. They were so helpful and made us feel right
at home. Overall a great experience. For anyone thinking about traveling on this
cruise line message me with any questions you may have. I can tell you the best places and a few of
the things I probably will skip my next time around.
Favorite Meal – Dinner at Sabor (new restaurant located on Navigator of the Seas)
Favorite Game Show – The Quest (adult scavenger hunt)
Favorite Thing to Do During the Day (relax by the adults
only pool)
Where did I spend most of my money (The Casino of course. Be careful!)
Best indulgence – A massage package. Watch for them daily in your planner. They
always have different specials for the day.
Absolutely loved my massage while there.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Makenna's Frozen Birthday Party
Makenna’s 5th birthday party was a hit! This year we decided to just invite her girl
friends and have a princess party. We
even had Queen Elsa attend from Happily Ever Parties . I did lots of research before deciding
on which company to go with and boy am I glad I did. Anna who played Queen Elsa was absolutely
wonderful. The girls were so excited
when she came to the door. She stayed in
character the entire time and kept the girls thoroughly entertained. She read them a story, sang with them,
painted their faces and then helped with singing Happy Birthday. I would definitely recommend her to anyone planning
a Frozen party for their little one.
Here are a few pics from the party.
I thought about giving a break down of where I found all of the items
below but instead if you are interested in any of the items below just leave me
a comment and I will let you know where I found them. Most of what I found was absolutely free
online. I can list the links for you as
well. I wonder what theme she’ll want
next year. Thank goodness for Pinterest.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
A letter to Makenna on her 5th birthday...
My baby isn't a baby anymore. :-(
Happy 5th birthday Makenna Jayde.
You have grown into a little lady & I'm having a hard time getting
used to you being so independent. Where
has my baby gone? While I love you
learning to do things on your own please don’t ever forget that I'm always here
to help you or hold your hand along the way. Thank you for still allowing me to
give you tons of hugs & kisses daily. I know I only have a few more years til
that's not "cool" so I cherish every minute of it. You're the best
thing that could have ever happened to me and I can't imagine my life turning
out any other way. Your smile is
infectious, your humor...addicting. I
just can’t get enough of you. I sure
hope all your birthday wishes come true.
Love you MOST sweet girl.
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